Safety comes before everything in education. We know this to be true, yet it can be increasingly hard to know when it is felt by those accessing our provisions. We can take great steps to broadcast safety, to reassure, to try to empathise…but often when we try to walk in their shoes, it’s still us in their shoes.
How can we effectively provide safety signals to those in our care? We must consider our stance, our tone, our posture, our distance, our facial expression, the words we use, the choices we offer, the implied meaning of decisions we take, the gaps between the information we give where anxiety grows along a narrative we cannot always predict.
Anxious eyes are on us all the time in the classroom. And when things go wrong, even those who have had the opportunity to develop the most helpful coping mechanisms will be searching the adults face for security. Every interaction in the room is assessed by those for whom adults have not always been safe. Every response to disappointment or challenge will either be safe or threatening.
How can we ensure that the safety we try to broadcast is received in this way?
Control is often key. A young person who knows an adult will share appropriate control with them, who will listen to them and maintain boundaries with care not force will begin to feel safe to be themselves. This is learned through overcoming challenges together predictably. This requires a calm demeanour, an open mind, not making assumptions about motives, giving time to think, communicating care but accepting that it might not be believed/understood. Putting control in the hands of the young person will make them feel safer when things go wrong, they will know they will be heard. For example – communicating it’s ok to say nothing, or say you don’t want to talk about it, or ask to leave (when it is possible to do so) or speak to someone else. How we handle things not going to plan can communicate we can cope with what they might bring to us – this is always being assessed.
Creating narratives is also a key part of this. Gaps that exist where we don’t explain the reason behind decisions can grow and be filled with negative narratives. Agree a genuine narrative around decisions that are taken with young people – live and breathe it, communicate it often. This narrative will be based in care and shared best interests (not to but with the young person).
In the moment of crisis, the relational capital and predictability you have shown, together with the body language, choice of words, tone and options provided will either provide safe routes to de-escalation or reinforce anger and anxiety.
